The Shattering of the Mind

Why am I feeling this guilt over someone’s death? I have been taking lives and keeping score for so long I don’t know how many I have killed in my life… Yet for the first time someone died and it should have been me… This Rask character tried to anticipate what I was going to do and when I hesitated he was slain almost immediately… I feel guilty. Was I trying to be strategic or was I being a coward… Had I rushed headlong would it have saved him or just gotten two of us killed? We shall never know. I feel like the party blames me for his death for being too unpredictable.

I have been foolish… Worrying over my problems when everyone else has had them as well. I have been worried only about myself when others have been suffering as well with me. I so far only know of one persons problems other than my own. That is the problems of Taeghan. He is shunned by his family due to some evil being possessing his cousin and forcing him to kill his kin. I know not of anyone elses tale of how they got here and where they are going… I shall find out. For the only way to make it out of here is to work together.

I can only hope and pray… To whom I have no clue. The Raven Queen has developed quite the following in our group… I see her sway being taught and changing people. I don’t know whether to follow along or just hide my hand for now and watch how this plays out.

I have never had much use for the gods and their drama and political wars of their followings. I just let them argue amonst themselves. Maybe let them fight one another as well… I just check the bodies. A man’s gotta make a living.

Anyone who turns their nose to my looting the dead hasn’t lived in the streets. When one has no family or food one will do what you must to survive through the night. I’ve eaten rats, molded bread, and bugs… I will do what I must!

Coyote’s writing is starting to go into an angry rant… His letter becomes harder to read but his anger and sarcasm become very blantant.

I know I made a scene in front of the Lord in the town… I do not care! They care more about their possessions than the lives of their loved ones. The coward should have told his wench to shut up and grab her things and go. The stupid deserve death… I’m sure even the Raven Queen believes that. Maybe I should ask Vindar-Ka… I think he would love for me to join his little cult following for his beloved Raven Queen…

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